Bringing Home the Missing Linck

"I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all. So I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours." ~Hillsong United

For the past few days I've been in a funk. I've been overwhelmed, discouraged, confused, angry...pretty much in a rotten mood. Today at church all my emotions came pouring out in great, big sobs. We were singing the song above and the words just resonated somewhere deep inside my soul. I felt so close to the Lord as we sang "in awe of the One who gave it all."
John and I are VERY blessed, but we have been walking a hard road over the past 8 months or so. Sometimes I feel like every time we turn around we are face-to-face with another challenge or obstacle. Truth be told, I am tired! During this season of life we are having to make a lot of big decisions - about careers, a possible move, starting our family through adoption.
Things are changing. And although I know MOST of the changes are good, they are still hard. Even though I have a Saviour who has all the details in His hands, I still get discouraged when I can't see the "Big" picture.
I can truly say the past 8 months have probably been the biggest "faith test" of my life - and I feel like I have made a big fat F on the test over the past few days.
But when I start thinking I've failed, when I start thinking my faith is weak, God reminds me that it's through my weaknesses that His power and glory are revealed.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2nd Cor. 12:9-10)

God also promises something beautiful in 1st Peter 1:6-7

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Amy Grant has a song that talks about how much God loves and desires to hear what's on our hearts - He wants us to be real...not to cover up our true feelings with what we think He wants to hear. Sometimes those raw emotions are "Better than a Hallelujah" to God's ears.
Here are the lyrics....take a moment to meditate on the beauty of these words and the beauty of being able to go before God's throne of grace just as you are. He's waiting!

God loves a lullaby in a mother's tears in the dead of night
better than a hallelujah sometimes
God loves a drunkards cry, the soldiers plea not to let him die
better than a hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than a hallelujah

The woman holding on for life
the dying man giving up the fight
are better than a hallelujah sometimes
tears of shame for what's been done
the silence when the words won't come
are better than a hallelujah sometimes

Better than a church bell ringing, better than a choir singing out

We pour out out our miseries
God just hears a melody
beautiful the mess we are
the honest cries of breaking hearts
are better than a hallelujah