Sunday, August 29, 2010

Adoption Is Not Our "Plan B"

I am reading the book "From Ashes to Africa." If was written by Josh and Amy Bottomly, who are from Oklahoma. Like John and I, they struggled with infertility and felt God calling them to adopt from Ethiopia. Our stories are very similar - they write about many of the same emotions and fears that John and I have experienced and prayers that we have lifted up to our Heavenly Father.
Today while I was reading the book, a section hit really close to home. John and I have experienced what Amy writes about first hand.

"Countless times after I told people about our plans to adopt, they would offer me their congratulations-slash-consolations by telling me stories of couples they knew who had infertility problems and decided to adopt, and then soon after adopting, surprise, surprise, they got pregnant. It wasn't hard for me to decode the hidden moral to their anecdote: God has a way of giving people back their dreams of biological children after they have taken a step to surrender to adopt.
What I wanted to tell these people was that adoption had become my dream.
Adoption was no longer Plan B.
It was Plan A."

There have been many people who have said similar things to John and I. We have heard "just as soon as you mail the application you'll end up pregnant." John even had someone ask him how we could "give up" on having a biological child.
Do I believe God can open my womb and bless us with a child? Absolutely!!! God can and does perform miracles. But I also don't feel like I can just assume God has the same plan for my life as He did for Sarah and Hannah. Maybe it's not in His plan for John and I to have biological children.
Do I get sad thinking I might not ever experience being pregnant? Sometimes (but I am also terrified of childbirth!) - but then I stop and think how awesome it is that we're getting to experience such a cool journey towards parenthood. Not everyone gets to go to Africa to bring home their child. Not everyone has a heart for adoption. I'm humbled that God has given John and I a heart for adoption and an overwhelming love for a child that we don't even know yet.
I don't know if John and I will ever have biological children or not, but I do know that God has a perfect plan and has clearly laid adoption on our hearts. Adoption is our Plan A! It is not a backup plan. We will bring home our "Missing Linck" regardless if we ever conceive.
We know God is preparing our hearts for our Ethiopia Prince or Princess - our child has been handpicked by God for our family just like John and I were handpicked by God.

"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." ~Ephesians 1:4-5


  1. Your posts get me every time. I am SO happy for you two!! It's odd to me that this is foreign to people. But, we are what we are and some times our minds are closed. Adoption was something I always thought about because of my Mom being adopted. Getting to be that for a baby like my Nana was for my Mom and you will be for your Prince or Princess seems amazing. If people will take a look at their lives they will notice we all have taken path B, C, D.... in our own minds, but when you stop you realize this is our Plan A because it was what He had planned for us or what He made out of our choices (not so in regards to your adoption). I'm so so so so very happy for you guys. This is AWESOME! Congratulations again. Thank you for being real. Thank you for being open. Thank you for being loving.

  2. Jennifer -
    Thank you SO much for your sweet comments and encouragement. It is my prayer that I am real, open and honest about this journey and all that God is doing. I want people to see God's hand in it all. To know that it's Him who gets me through - I am SO not perfect, I make mistakes. I get down in the dumps...the trials we have faced have been hard and emotional. But God is faithful and His plan will succeed.