Less than two years ago, I stared at photos of one of my closest friends, cradling her first child. I vividly remember the overwhelming emotions that overcame me as I saw her holding the tiny bundle of joy. There’s something sort of surreal about your best friend from high school having a baby. It seemed liked just yesterday that we were attending youth group events and scrapbooking our high school memories. The day Amber had her first child, was the day I think my baby fever kicked into high gear. Watching Amber become a mommy, made me desperately want to be a mommy too.
Fast forward to last night…..I sat looking at photos of Amber’s second child. She had a sweet baby girl just this week! The photos captured family and friends, waiting in eager anticipation at the hospital, for the arrival of Adyson Grace. You could tell by the photos that everyone was just smitten with the newest addition to the family.
As I looked at the photos, a thought suddenly flashed through my mind – I may never experience family and friends gathered in a hospital waiting room awaiting the arrival of my baby. Its one thing to not experience the epidural or labor pains (believe me, I will gladly skip all of that) but it made me a little sad to think that I might miss the hospital waiting room moment.
Then I remembered something that my friend Annette told me yesterday! She said that she planned to wear her “Bringing Home the Missing Linck” t-shirt to the airport on the day we bring our baby home. John and I may never have family and friends crowded into a hospital waiting room, but we will have a ton of people waiting at the airport when we step off the plane from Ethiopia with our baby. Annette said just thinking about that day gave her chill bumps!
There will be people waiting in eager anticipation! We will have photos of people smitten with this baby that so many people have prayed for.
It’s funny the things that make me sad when I think about never being pregnant. It kind of stinks that I may never pee on a stick and see a plus sign. (I have had many negative ones). I may never be able to surprise John with the news that he is going to be a dad. We may never get to call our parents and announce that we are pregnant. I may never feel a baby kick from inside of me.
But on the flip side, I am okay with never having morning sickness and with never having to have an epidural. I am a big, fat weenie and the thought of an epidural makes my stomach turn.
When I start to think about the things I might not experience, I start thinking about the things I will be experiencing over the next 12-18 months (oh my, that sounds like such a long time!). I can look forward to the day when we get our referral; when we see our baby (or babies) precious face for the first time. We can still surprise our parents with the news of whether we are adoption a boy, girl or both and then we can show off the photos. We will still get to decorate a nursery and register at Target and Babies R Us. We will get to travel across the world to bring home our baby. And at the end of it all, I won’t have to lose my baby weight or worry about stretch marks!
HI Jennifer -
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've stumbled across your blog. I'm a waiting mama too. I just wanted to share with you a similar thought I had over the weekend. We celebrated Thanksgiving with two pregnant women this year, three of us waiting for our babies, but only one of us could toast with champagne - there were many laughs about me expecting and still able to imbibe :) your post about no stretch marks and no morning sickness helped me appreciate again where I am right now, thank you, Anne
www.oliveradoption.blogspot.com
Just stumbled across your blog.. but this post so touched me! Your perspective is sooo great and I am sorry to say I often take pregnancy for grantit and it is a reminder to me to be thankful because there is people out there that will never get to experience it. Thanks for reminding me as I currently sit here on bed rest to have the right perspective!
ReplyDeleteAmanda