Last night I was reading part of my book "Plan B" and the author asked some tough questions.
He says, "You may be praying and pleading with God. But is it possible you don't really want God? Is it possible you just want what you think God can give you? One of the things I believe God is teaching me in my life these days is that at times we want our dreams more than we want God. We want what God does for us instead of just God."
WOW! Pretty hard questions - a big smack in the face with reality.
The author of the books uses Exodus 33:12-17 to make his point that God's presence is much more important than what we are wanting God to do in our life.
The Lord asks Moses to lead the people to the Promise Land and the thing Moses is most concerned about is being in God's presence. He isn't concerned about success, He is desperate for God, desperate for His presence to go with him.
"If your presence does not go with us, do not send us from this place," (v. 15) is Moses plea to God.
I want to be a mom desperately - but do I want to know God more? Do I want to experience His presence above my desire to have a child? Is my desire to become a mom overshadowing my desire for God?
Would I still worship the Lord and seek His face if I knew I would never have a child? Oh how I hope I will always put God and His will before my desires.
Like Moses, I pray I desire His presence more than a comfortable life, becoming a mom, or anything else that could potentially take my focus off the most important thing - Jesus!