Confessions of a Baby Food Maker

Carrots made him gag and scream.
Peas were a bit more peaceful.
Green beans were tolerated better than carrots, but not as much as peas.

Maybe my homemade creations are too chunky. Maybe he takes after me and just hates most veggies. Although, I do like me some green beans. Whatever it is, it's only been 2 weeks and I'm ready to trade in the Baby Bullet and go get some Gerber to save the day!

Making the food isn't the hard part. It's actually pretty simple and doesn't take all that long. The part that stinks is the extra planning it takes to thaw the food out and make sure it's ready before my Little Man hits major meltdown mode because his stomach is rumbling like a freight train.

Seriously, he has a temper like no other. He gets so worked up that he's not savoring his veggies, but on the verge of choking to death . I'm starting to dread lunch and dinner! Life would be a lot easier if I could just pop open a jar of store-bought food.

Now, now...I know some of you are just appalled that I would feed that stuff in the jar to my baby boy. After all, it's packed with all kinds of gross stuff and super bad for his growing little self. But seriously, I ate it and I lived and millions of other children do too. And honestly...I didn't start making Jackson's food because it was better for him (I know, I may not get mom of the year). I only did it because it was going to save this stay-at-home mama some moo la!

Sigh. I'm thinking I can trade in a couple of Sonic Dr Pepper's each week for a little feeding time sanity. Wouldn't you if feeding time looked like this???

Celebrating Kicking Cancer's Butt

This weekend Jackson and I went to Texas to celebrate and cheer my mom (his Lolli) on as she walked the Survivor Lap at Relay for Life. Her life changed drastically last October when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, but after a double mastectomy and chemo, she has kicked cancer's butt! My mom is seriously the strongest person I know. She has been through hell, yet I've never heard her complain. Two weeks after her surgery, she made the 4 hour trip to my baby shower. She was at the hospital for Jackson's birth and stayed with us a few days just a month and a half after surgery. She mowed the yard after a chemo treatment and if you didn't watch her closely she would try to mop the floor and do laundry when she wasn't supposed to. Not to mention, she couldn't keep her hands off Jackson, although she wasn't supposed to lift him! She is one tough cookie, well actually, she's just STUBBORN! :)

Here are photos from Relay for Life! It was a great night and our family has so many reasons to celebrate! I don't believe that God gave my mom cancer, but I do know that He will use this for his Glory! It's only because of Him that my mom was able to walk Friday night and be called a survivor!

 Mom walking her Survivor Lap!

 Me, Autry, My Sister Myka and Jackson ready to walk for Mom

 The second lap was for Survivor's and their caregivers. My dad walked with my mom and two special girls also joined them. My mom kept Autry and Kirsten from the time they were babies until they were old enough to go to school. Sweet!

 We fight because we believe in Miracles and my mom is proof! Me, Myka and Jackson wearing our Relay shirts!

 Jackson and his Lolli - I absolutely love this photo!

 One of several luminary bags made in my mom's honor

 Pop and Lolli showing off Jackson

 Autry and Jackson

 Me, Jackson and Mom

 My family, minus the son-in-laws!

 My mom is so ready for her hair to grow back, but I think she looks pretty cute sporting a baseball cap!

My mom had this little shirt made for Jackson to wear! So glad she had this little guy to make her smile during these past few months! When she was diagnosed, she told the doctor she would do anything she needed to do, as long as, she was at the hospital when her grandson was born! 

5 Months!

Happy 5 Months Little Man! Mommy isn't sure how she feels about how fast time is flying by! You are growing up and doing new things every day! I love that I am home with you each day so I don't miss any of these milestones.

Special Things That Happened in Month 5!

• You started checking out your feet and reaching for them.
• You love to blow bubbles when you have cereal in your mouth. You mastered eating cereal. We can't shovel it in fast enough.
• You actually decided you liked your pacifier and love to suck on it and play with it.
• You had your first fever, double ear infection and snotty nose.
• You pooped EVERYWHERE on our way to Pop and Lolli's and mom had to give you a bath with baby wipes in the Target bathroom. You were happy as can be during the poop fiasco.
• You were dedicated at church!
• You are laughing and smiling and squealing so much.
• You sleep through the night and don't need a night time bottle any more.

What A Difference A Year Makes

Last Mother's Day was full of sadness and heartache. I ached to be a mother. Church was so emotional. I sobbed through the baby dedication and Mother's Day video. I remember telling myself that I NEVER wanted to forget the ache in my heart and the pain of not having a child. Even when I was wiping snotty noses and dirty bottoms, I wanted to remember just how much it hurt to have empty arms.Last year several people at church prayed for me and believed that this year I would be blessed with a bundle of joy! What a difference a year makes. This year, Mother's Day is all about this sweet face! I love this Little Man something fierce!

God heard the cries of my heart and answered my prayer for children. Today I didn't just celebrate my first Mother's Day, but John and I dedicated Jackson at church! What a special day! Our preacher asked all the mommies to stand, as well as, all those yearning to be mother's and he prayed for us. I remember standing two year's ago, when I was one of those who wanted nothing more than to have a child. I am so glad he included all those wanting to be mother's. Mother's Day can down-right suck for those who can't have children, have lost children or have lost mother's.

John and I were thankful that we got to celebrate with both of our mom's! All of our family came in to celebrate Mother's Day, Jackson's Dedication and the finalization of his adoption. I am thankful that I got to celebrate with my mom! She has had a rough few months, but she is a cancer survivor and one tough cookie!

Here are a few photos from our weekend of celebration....

 John, Jackson and I with our moms/grandmothers. Jackson made special footprint butterflies for his Lolli and Missy

 Me and My Mom....

 John and his mom

 John and I with Jackson before he was dedicated at church.

 We had SO much to celebrate this weekend. Mainly this sweet boy! Love him!

 Mommy, Daddy and Jackson

 Pop, Lolli and Jackson

 Justin and the Little Burrito

 Missy, Dude, Aunt Adrienne and Jackson

Our families (minus Jackson's Auntie M) celebrating!!!

Mother's Day and Adoption

It's 3 a.m. and I just finished rocking Jackson. I went in to peek on him and he was wide awake doing his airplane. He didn't want to eat, he wasn't crying, he just didn't want to sleep. Maybe I should have just left him alone, but it won't be long before my Little Man decides he's too big to be rocked.

As I rocked him and listened to him suck on his pacifier (he's all the sudden decided he likes a paci), I silently prayed for my baby boy and thanked God for letting me be his mommy.

This weekend is full of celebration. It's my first Mother's Day, all of our family is in town for Jackson's dedication at church and we're also celebrating the recent finalization of his adoption.

As I prayed, it dawned on me that although this is a weekend of joy and celebration for me, it could be heartbreaking and emotional for Jackson's birth mom. I rocked him and I cried. I prayed that God would comfort his birth mom this weekend. I was once again reminded how much grief is mixed in with the joy of adoption.

I kissed Jackson's head and cuddled him close, sad at the thought of his birth mom never walking into his room to discover him doing his "airplane" and seeing him smile in a way that will just melt your heart.

It's not that I ever forget Jackson's birth mom. Her picture is in his nursery. We sent her a photo book for Mother's Day. But I've been so caught up in the amazingness of this weekend, that I didn't really stop and think about how Mother's Day might affect her.

I don't know if she'll feel sad or if the day will pass by without much thought - I do know that I will think of her, that I admire the decision she made and will forever be grateful for giving me the most precious gift. She will be a part of my Mother's Day celebration, after all, she's Jackson's Mother too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A Letter

Dear Jackson Henry -

As I've cuddled you and rocked you the past few days, I realize just how fast you're growing up. The past 4 1/2 months have flown by and although I'm glad our long nights of colic induced screams are over, I'm not sure how I feel about buying 12 month pj's for your chubby little self.

There are so many moments and memories that I never want to forget; like the way you suck one finger or the sound you make after you sneeze. And you sneeze a lot and it's never just once or twice - try five or six times.

I love coming in your room each morning to find you on your tummy doing your "airplane" and being greeted by your amazing smile.

I don't even mind getting showered with your morning cereal when you decide to blow bubbles and make a big mess.

Each time I rock you and stare into your eyes, I swear your eyelashes have grown another inch. Your long, beautiful eyelashes are just a reminder that God cares about the details. And oh, baby boy, He cares about you so much.

I never want to forget the way you look wrapped in a big, fuzzy towel after a bath. Your hair wet, drops of water on those long eyelashes and your little rolls of sweet baby chub!

You're starting to look more like a little boy than a baby, especially in those 12 month pajamas. Be still my heart.

The way you pooch your bottom lip out and growl when you get upset...these are the little things I never want to forget.

Today as we were reading "God Found Us You" I couldn't hold back the tears. You are such an answer to prayer and God knew you would be the one to call me mommy.

And sweet boy...being your mommy is better than I could have ever dreamed!

xoxox

Your Mommy