I broke down. Not because I think my mom's going to die - but because I HATE cancer. I wouldn't wish the disease on my worst enemy. I have lost every single one of my grandparents to cancer. I lost Fletcher, Anna and so many other kids to that dreaded disease.
My mom will beat this, I have no doubt! She's tough, stubborn and a fighter. She told the doctor that she will do whatever it takes as long as she can be at my sister's wedding on November 19th and available when her first grandson is born the first part of December.
I e-mailed my friend Marlo when I got the news. I knew that she of all people would understand the shock and crazy emotions you experience when learning that a loved one has cancer. Marlo is Anna's mom.
She wrote: "As you know it's a hard road, but there are many blessings along the way - similar to your adoption road. I will pray for your family as you enter a new world. And if you are imagining all sorts of terrible things - don't! Don't go anywhere in your mind that you are not there in your body. Live one day at a time."
I know that my family and I will get through this cancer journey. We can do it without falling apart because we know that God has my mom in the palm of His hands. I do not believe for one second that God gave my mom cancer. We live in a fallen world and like my mom and I have discussed on numerous occasions - cancer DOES NOT discriminate.
I do, however, believe that God can and will use this journey for His glory. He will probably change my mom in amazing ways and weave together a beautiful story through a disease that is so ugly.
God is already answering prayers! My mom went to the doctor today and she will have to have surgery on October 26th BUT...
- The cancer has NOT spread
- The type of breast cancer she has is not genetic
- It's a miracle she found the lump according to all of her doctors because it didn't even show up on a regular mammogram
- There's a good chance that after the surgery she won't even have to have chemo. We won't know until the surgery is done but we are praying she won't have to.
"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand. No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, so scheme of man, could ever pluck me from His hands, till He returns or calls me home,
here in the power of Christ I'll stand."