I can't believe it's been 6 weeks! Tomorrow I go back to work, but thankfully I am only going back part-time. I will only have to leave Little Man 2 days a week.
Just this morning Jackson gave me a huge smile! His first, real smile! I was singing the song I sing to him every morning and he just beamed! Melt my heart! I am so glad I didn't miss that moment!
I feel like I have learned a lot about myself the past 6 weeks, have had to trust God like never before and have had SO much fun snuggling Jackson and being his mommy. Here are just a few things I've learned...
1. Colic SUCKS! There's no sugar coating it! I would not wish a colicky baby on my worst enemy. It's hard! Nights are long and there's not a whole lot you can do. We have tried everything in the book - switching formula, rubbing his tummy and moving his legs, putting the car seat on the dryer, taking car rides, letting him sip a little Sprite diluted with water, gas drops, gripe water....you name it! The good news is, we have had several REALLY good nights. (I am knocking on my wooden kitchen table as I type) and I am hoping and praying that 6 weeks will be our lucky number and the colic will be GONE!
2. I'm not as patient of a person as I thought.... read #1 and you might see why my patience have been tested! I have felt like a crazy mad woman at times. Lack of sleep can do that to you! Praying for patience and strength to handle those long nights has been on my daily prayer list.
3. I'm more selfish than I realized....having a baby makes you see just how selfish you really are. I used to do WHATEVER I wanted, WHENEVER I wanted. I went to bed at 9:00 and slept until 6:30 or later....those days have flown out the window! My world now revolves around an 11.5 pound (yes, he's already that big!) little dude who decides my schedule for me (for the most part!).
4. I am more like Martha, less like Mary....(sigh!) I have always been a busy body! It drives my husband crazy. He would love for me to just sit and watch TV after work, but I just can't. There's dishes to do, laundry to fold, etc. I have struggled very hard not being able to keep up with these tasks the past 6 weeks. I am kind of a neat freak. My house has not been as clean as I would have liked. I know, I know, you're probably thinking I need to just let it go. And I do. I've had to pray for God to help me get a grip and just "Be Still" and enjoy these sweet moments with Jackson, because they will be gone in a flash and I will never get them back. So I have learned that it's okay to stay in my pj's all day, without makeup, with laundry piled on the kitchen floor and dishes in the sink. It still drives me crazy, but I am slowly realizing it will be there whenever I get to it.
5. I LOVE Being a Mommy....and I am so glad that I only have to go back to work part-time (and that my job is letting me!). I love lazy days with Jackson, loading him in the car to run errands, getting dinner ready and chores done (as much as I can...). I am not sure what the future holds, I feel like God may be asking me to stay home full-time, but I am going to giveworking part-time a shot! I know that I don't want someone else raising Jackson 40 hours a week, but I also love my job and believe God has put me there for a reason. Taking things one day at a time....