Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Christmas Music, Toaster Struddles and Tears

Yesterday was my last day of work for 6 weeks. When I left it felt so surreal. It didn't hit me until this morning that we will be holding our son tomorrow.
I should be giving the dog a bath, packing my bag and finishing up some things around the house, but instead I'm listening to Christmas music - "Christ is the Lord, oh praise his name forever" and bawling.
Tears over Toaster Struddles.
John and I will leave today and return home parents.
It's been a crazy few months - between my mom's cancer diagnoses, surgery, holidays at the Mission, my sister getting married and preparing for a baby, I haven't had much time to just sit and soak it all in. This morning it's soaking in and I am excited, anxious, nervous and grieving the loss part that comes with adoption.
But more than anything I think I am just humbled to tears that God wrote this story for John and I. When we first found out about this baby, we thought there was no way it would ever work for us to adopt him. But God worked miracles and every piece of the puzzle fell in to place.
I have seen the hand of God on every detail of the past 5 months. The other day I was driving to work, praying and I couldn't help but think how awesome it is that this baby boy is our Christmas miracle. I prayed that the people in our life who need to know the love of their Savior would take one look at Jackson and would never be able to deny that there is a loving God who loves us so much! He knows the number of hairs on our head and wants nothing more than to have a personal relationship with us.
That's my prayer this Christmas - that we will all remember it's all about a baby. A baby born in a manger in Bethlehem changed everything!

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1 comment:

  1. So amazing!!! I am incredibly happy for you! I know the feeling of humility and gratitude over the plan that God had after years of waiting for it. He is so good!!!