And Just Like That Life Changes....

On Friday a bomb exploded in my world. John and I got to Texas and my mom nonchalantly told me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer the previous day.
I broke down. Not because I think my mom's going to die - but because I HATE cancer. I wouldn't wish the disease on my worst enemy. I have lost every single one of my grandparents to cancer. I lost Fletcher, Anna and so many other kids to that dreaded disease.
My mom will beat this, I have no doubt! She's tough, stubborn and a fighter. She told the doctor that she will do whatever it takes as long as she can be at my sister's wedding on November 19th and available when her first grandson is born the first part of December.
I e-mailed my friend Marlo when I got the news. I knew that she of all people would understand the shock and crazy emotions you experience when learning that a loved one has cancer. Marlo is Anna's mom.
She wrote: "As you know it's a hard road, but there are many blessings along the way - similar to your adoption road. I will pray for your family as you enter a new world. And if you are imagining all sorts of terrible things - don't! Don't go anywhere in your mind that you are not there in your body. Live one day at a time."
I know that my family and I will get through this cancer journey. We can do it without falling apart because we know that God has my mom in the palm of His hands. I do not believe for one second that God gave my mom cancer. We live in a fallen world and like my mom and I have discussed on numerous occasions - cancer DOES NOT discriminate.
I do, however, believe that God can and will use this journey for His glory. He will probably change my mom in amazing ways and weave together a beautiful story through a disease that is so ugly.
God is already answering prayers! My mom went to the doctor today and she will have to have surgery on October 26th BUT...

• The cancer has NOT spread
• The type of breast cancer she has is not genetic
• It's a miracle she found the lump according to all of her doctors because it didn't even show up on a regular mammogram
• There's a good chance that after the surgery she won't even have to have chemo. We won't know until the surgery is done but we are praying she won't have to.

I am so thankful for the hope I have in Christ. How do people who live without Jesus handle life altering news like a cancer diagnoses? Christ is my solid rock. He is my mom's solid rock. He is SO good....All the glory to Him!

"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand. No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, so scheme of man, could ever pluck me from His hands, till He returns or calls me home,

here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

A Burning Passion

Yesterday I went to a luncheon hosted by the 111Project. What's the 111Project you ask? It's 1 church, 1 family, 1 purpose! It was a room full of people who are passionate about orphan care, foster care and adoption.

"The 111Project launched in April 2011 and began as a campaign to recruit 111 foster families from Metro Oklahoma City churches. What began as a number goal has evolved into an ongoing focus of: 1 church, 1 family, with 1 purpose. That purpose is to leave no Oklahoma child without a father or a family."


During the luncheon we also learned about the Wait No More campaign, sponsored by Focus on the Family. Here's a bit of information from their website:

"Right now, more than 114,000* legal orphans in United States foster care are waiting for adoptive families. The US also has more than 300,000 churches, and God has given clear commands for Christians to take care of His orphan children.
So if the command is clear and the need is apparent, why are these kids still waiting?
At Focus on the Family, we believe that every child has the right to have a family. That's why we're collaborating with adoption agencies, church leaders, and ministry partners to raise awareness of and recruit families for those waiting for permanent families.
Through one day events and targeted marketing campaigns, Focus on the Family is highlighting the urgent need for adoptive parents. For too long, these children and youth have been overlooked.
But that is changing. God is stirring the hearts of His people to welcome these children and youth into forever homes. To date, more than 1,525 families have initiated the process of adoption from foster care as a result of the collaborative efforts of Wait No More. And this is only the beginning."

God has ROCKED both mine and John's world through our infertility, through our adoption journey. He has truly given us a heart for the orphan and a desire to see children placed in families. After the luncheon yesterday I was SO fired up! There is SO much that we can do. SO much that we are called to do as Christians. As Christ followers we are commanded to care for the poor, the orphan and the widow. What will you do?

Oh how I pray that the church will get it! That their hearts will beat for this cause! John and I are in the process of planning Orphan Sunday for our church and I am boldly praying that people will leave that Sunday passionate about being God's hands and feet for the fatherless.

We are SO excited that we will have resources available for people to sign up to sponsor a child through Compassion International, a representative from the 111 Project to talk about foster care, information on domestic and international adoption.



Diapers, Wipes and Bottles Oh My!

We spent most of the day among baby bottles, burp clothes and diapers. Registering for a baby is overwhelming! We scanned a lot of things - hopefully they are the right things.
Registering when you're adopting is bittersweet. In the back of your mind you know that something could happen and the adoption could fall through. What would we do with all the gifts. Do you give them back or keep them for future babies? My friends have been encouraging me to have a shower before Jackson's birth - I am so thankful for them and their encouragement. They've told me that I need to have a shower. That I need to be prepared before we bring him home. That if I were pregnant I would be celebrating with a shower and should do the same to celebrate the birth of our little man. So we are stepping out in faith, believing that we will be home with our son in December and thanking our friends who want to give us a shower as we prepare for parenthood.
Registering when you're adopting is also comical. The lady helping us at one location kept looking at me funny. You could tell she was wondering where my baby bump was. She finally asked me if we were registering for our baby. I said yes. I explained that we were adopting and expecting our bundle of joy in December. She said "so it really is your baby." Yes, it really is!

You Have A Chance to Make A Difference for an Adopting Family....

Two blogs in one day! This is not like me, but this blog is important folks!Because Kathleen's a great and close friend, I know that I can copy and paste her blog to help spread the word about this grant opportunity! Please help spread the word too. They have a chance to receive $7,000 with this grant opportunity. Help. Them. Out! Here's the details in Kathleen's words:

We are so excited to be accepted for the Hand in Hand Grant!! After mailing out many grant applications, it was SO wonderful to see a "yes" in my inbox!


For those of you that don't know about Hand In Hand.....

HANDinHAND Christian Adoption, Inc. is dedicated to helping children become part of "forever" families by partnering with Christian couples to help carry the burden of the cost of adoption through matching grants and the raising of support. We believe we can accomplish this goal by working together with private donors, churches and the family and friends of adoptive couples. We are not an adoption agency and we do not place children with families. We do work with families that have already begun the process of adoption to help make that process more affordable.

So our family was awarded a matching grant for up to $3500. So if we can raise $3500, Hand In Hand will match that amount dollar-for-dollar. We are excited to get this opportunity and we are grateful to God for blessing our finances with this grant. If you feel led to give (any amount is SO greatly appreciated) you can make your check out to:

Hand In Hand Christian Adoption Inc.

And mail it to:

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.

James & Kathleen Ellis

18524 Juniper Street

Gardner, KS 66030-9147

They said don't make the check out to us.... just reference us on your envelope. :)

My prayer is this: That God will lay our family on someones heart. That they will feel led to help us move toward our $3500 goal with any amount...small or large. That God will allow this grant to really bless our saving toward our adoption and toward making our family whole.

Asking for donations is HARD! I'm not one to ask for much of anything...especially money. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16. They moved to a really small boarder town in TX and I was crushed to have to leave my friends behind. I basically made life really crappy for them and decided to move back to San Antonio on my own my Jr. year of high school.

I worked at the horse race track there in San Antonio at night to make money to live off off and then I went to school during the day. It was SO hard. My stubbornness didn't allow me to ask for help and I was so embarrassed when someone would help without me asking.... It made me feel like a failure. Oh dear sweet PRIDE!!! ugh.

I always did things on my own.
So this is hard.
VERY hard.

Asking for others to help me become a Mom is so humbling, so pride-swallowing....

My faith has grown by leaps and bounds throughout this process. That was God's intentions, I know. He knows how to draw us closer to him. So now I give it to Him. This grant, this adoption, my infertility, my health, our family.... all of it. to. Him.

Thank you to everyone that "get's it". That gets how it feels to have to ask for money for something you feel called by God to do. That gets not having the ability to run out and "do" with your own checkbook. That gets what it means to be "called" by God to do something. That gets what a "Sun Stand Still" prayer means....and how much faith that really takes. Thank you to those who pray for God to lead them to give or to really "get it", or to simply pray for families like ours to become whole

FIVE

This photo is for John. He's a huge Cardinals fan, so it's fitting that we would use the back of Pujols jersey for a month 5 photo!

Months that is. On the Ethiopia wait list! Only about 12 more to go. After hearing Rebecca's great news this week, I am filled with hope and even more excited for the day we see the cute little Ethiopian faces that God has for our family.

I spent last weekend with my cousins in Texas. We have always called ourselves the Jackson 5, so it was fitting that we take a photo to celebrate 5 months of John and I being on the wait list. My cousin Casey seems pretty excited in this picture. Ha!

Yesterday was a GREAT Day....

I pray a lot on my drive to work each morning. Yesterday I was praying for our friends Ben and Rebecca. They have been waiting for a referral from Ethiopia for almost 17 months. I can't imagine....(but I guess I will in about 12 months when I'm still waiting....)

Anyway...I got a text message from my friend Kathleen yesterday that said "Rebecca is getting her referral RIGHT now!" Praise Jesus! I was jumping for joy! Kathleen just happened to e-mail Rebecca to let her know she was thinking and praying for her during this wait and Rebecca wrote back that they were getting their referral at. that. EXACT. moment! Holy Moly!
I immediately e-mailed and text Rebecca that I was BEYOND excited! In just a bit I got a text from Rebecca that included the most precious 14-month old face. A GIRL!!! A SWEET, AMAZING GIRL!!!
God is SO good! I've just been giddy with excitement for the Winters! Will you go over to their blog and congratulate them? You can do it here!
Seeing the face of their sweet girl makes me anticipate the day we get our referral. I can't wait for the phone to ring and see the faces of our kiddos. Hearing Rebecca's news gives me hope. We will have our Ethiopian children soon - in God's perfect timing.
Thanks Rebecca for being such a shining example of someone who perseveres. Who doesn't give up! Who trusts in a pretty Awesome God. SO excited for you friend!!!!

My Little Man and Beef Jerky

So my dad called this week and had a pretty serious question for me. Are we going to let people call our little man Jack? I said I didn't really know and asked if he had a problem with people calling him Jack. (My maiden name is Jackson).
He said something dawned on him when he was walking through SAMs....there's a beef jerky called Jack Links.

Heaven forbid our son be named after a piece of beef jerky! Gotta love my dad!

* I told my coworker about my dad's concerns and she brought me a piece of the jerky today :)